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20 Tips To Spice Up Your Married Sex Life

By on July 8, 2016 in Uncategorized

If you’ve been married for a few years, and especially if you’ve had kids together, keeping your relationship hot and fun can be tricky. It’s completely natural to end up in a rut, and it’s also completely natural to want something more.

Need some tips to get out of that rut and bring the spice back to your married sex life? We are here to serve you.

See an escort together

Swinging gets all the credit these days, but if you want to have a no-strings fling with a third party, making an appointment with an escort is the way to go. Guaranteed they’ll have plenty of ideas of how to make your night one to remember.

Try a new vibrator

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Or take the one you already have and use it in a new way. There are all sorts of body parts that tingle deliciously; how many can you find?

Engage in role-play

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Role-play isn’t just “Teacher I’ll do anything for an A” and “misbehaving patient/naughty nurse” – although those fantasies can be incredible to indulge. Any time you act a certain way to make your partner gasp, you’re role-playing. Give it a try!

Experiment with a new position

 

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When was the last time you did something new in bed? When we get busy, our sex lives get routine and dull. Try something new! Climb on top, or bend over and ask your partner to take you from behind, or up against a wall. The sky is the limit. And if it’s goofy or funny or you have to stop to work out a cramp, so much the better. Sex does not have to be serious to be good. In fact, silly can be absolutely amazing.

Play in public

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Rub your foot up the inside of your partner’s thigh. Slide your hand into their lap. There are vibrators that a person can insert and then activate remotely, meaning you can torment them for hours, and they get to enjoy both the sensations and the thrill of engaging in something inappropriate in public.

Talk more

When was the last time you and your partner had a real conversation? Not about your kids, or the household chores, or your work stresses. Day to day chit chat that helps you reconnect. Make a talk-date, and if it ends up becoming a sexy date, so much the better.

Have sex somewhere new

Remember the Friends episode where Rachel confessed that the strangest place she’d ever had sex was the end of the bed? Don’t be like Rachel. Have a new couch? Kitchen table? Ottoman? Experiment with new places and new positions at the same time.

Write brand new wedding vows

If you need to bring romance back into your life, nothing will do it faster than writing new wedding vows. Write down the things about your partner that you didn’t know the day you wed, and how much you love that new knowledge. Read them out loud. You don’t need to throw a big party to recommit to your relationship; you can do it every single day.

Have a quickie

Sex can start to feel like an event that has to be scheduled when everyone else is asleep, no one is too tired, no one is too stressed. Planning sex can be highly erotic, but being spontaneous is also delightful. Try putting some sexy lingerie under an everyday outfit, and invite your partner to find out what’s different.

Trade sexy dances

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So you’re not a professional – so what? Find some music that makes you feel like sex on a stick and shake your body into your partner’s lap. They’ll appreciate the effort, and you can get them to return the favor!

Watch some porn together

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You can watch porn together to giggle at it, but you can also watch porn together as a way to enjoy fantasies that one or the other of you cannot safely indulge in. Make popcorn and comment on what the actors are and are not doing to each other, or take it seriously and let your hands wander.

Go to a strip club together

The next level up from watching porn together is going to a strip club together. Watching dancers who are completely comfortable in their bodies is incredibly sexy, even if their gender isn’t typically attractive to you. And, if nothing else, watching your partner get excited is a turn on all on its own.

Talk about fantasies, then act them out

If your love life has dried up, one way to start lubricating the gears is to talk about what your partner wants. Ask for their fantasies, and then see if you can indulge them. Again, turnabout is fair play!

Initiate sex

If you’re often the passive partner, initiate. Send your partner a message telling them how much you want them to come home, what you’re doing, or just climb into their lap and make your intentions known.

Set up a camera and take naughty pictures or videos together

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Posing for a camera or knowing you’re being recorded sets off something absolutely dirty in all the best ways for many people. You’re under no obligation to keep the recording if you’re nervous, but just the act of posing can feel fantastic.

Trade massages

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Long day at work? Get some body oil and rub it in carefully before finding time for that happy ending you both crave.

Take a bath together

Showering together can be fun, but there’s something luxurious about bathing together. Let your hands wander, but you’re probably better off getting onto dry land before you do the deed; water is not a good lubricant.

Experiment with dirty talk

Don’t feel like you have to talk like a bad romance novel, where you’re all throbbing man swords or pulsing love pearls. You can use graphic descriptions for body parts, or you can just say “God, you make me hot, more, please, yes,” and watch your partner for their reaction. Odds on you’re going to love it.

Read erotica together and act out the crucial scenes

If the visuals of porn don’t work for you, try taking turns reading out loud from an erotic story. If you want to get really brave, act out the scenes where everyone gets happy.

Experiment with new toys

Head to the adult section in your favorite store, or try out a new shop online. See what tickles your fancy, and ask your partner if they’d be comfortable trying it out on you.

Just because it’s common for the spice to fade in marriages over time doesn’t mean that you’re condemned to a life of boring sex. Try something new, and see what happens!